Hope it Gives You Hell (Devon)(closed)

[Harmony Ferguson]

Harmony slowly walked out into the moon garden as the moon rose over the mansion. She pulled at the opening of her hoodie, pulling it closed tightly before she tucked her hands into her pockets to help keep the cool spring night air biting at her skin. She made sure to dress warmly because she wasn't sure how long she would be out here. Devon would be home from his excursion soon, and Harmony needed to think. Ponder things, you could say. She watched the garden come to life with all the pale blooms that only burst to life in the night only. She found a seat close to the garden edge and stared up at the moon. She liked to come out here when she needed to think. She was supposed to be up in her room since Devon wasn't home. She happily locked herself up in her bedroom for a bit. Until a friend stopped in to chat with her. And that's how she found out about Devon going to the blood bar.

She was fuming over that. Why? Why would he go to the blood bar? He has a blood slave. He had Harmony. He had no reason to go to that damn blood bar. He was only doing it to spite her. That's exactly what she thought. He was trying to get back at her because of her nagging. Not that she nagged that often. She usually nagged when he decided to be an ass, which seemed to be a lot as of late. It's not that she enjoyed fighting with him. She hated it. She hated fighting with him with all her heart, but she couldn't help herself. She still had a bit of a defensive streak in her. He knew that. She still had a back bone damn it, and she wasn't going to let him walk all over her.

It didn't just make her angry that he went out to the blood bar though. It hurt. It hurt her. It made her feel like she wasn't enough. Like he didn't find her satisfying. With his appetite or his sexuality. And the fact that he was doing it to spite her only hurt even more. Did he think she fought with him on purpose? And if he thought that, what other things did he think of her? She didn't fight with him just to get him upset. Sure, in the beginning she used to say and do things just to piss him off, but didn't he realize she quit doing that long ago? She sighed and ran a hand through her hair softly, eyes closing.

She wished so much she could still run to her mother and ask for guidance when it came to men. Harmony was so lost and confused. She loved the man damn it! Why did he have to be so damn ornery? She didn't know what to do. She was at a total loss. What did he want from her? Total complacency? Maybe she should just start acting like a slave instead of his lover. Was that what he would prefer? She do everything he tells her to without a single question? Instead of how she usually questioned him or stood up to him when she didn't like something. Sometimes she wondered if it would just be better if he broke her wholly and completely. Maybe then he would be happy with her.

But then she would be even more miserable than she already was.

[Devon Soulstrick]

Devon had been home for a while now but he wasn’t entirely anxious to see his blood slave after just getting back from a blood bar. He really couldn’t see what was so wrong about a vampire going to a blood bar, but he was sure Harmony would be able to see something wrong with it. It wasn’t like he’d really lied to her about where he was going, he just hadn’t told her anything about it. He was sure that she knew by now though with the way talk circulated among the slaves. So instead of going straight to his human and the woman he shared most of his days with, he went to the room he shared with Eden, who was thankfully not there, and into the bathroom that was connected to their room to take a shower. He needed the warm water to clear his head of tonight’s activities so he could think about how he was going to deal with Harmony. He knew she’d be furious, or maybe by the time they spoke just immensely upset. But really, she’d just have to get over it. At least, that’s what he kept telling himself. He was a vampire for crying out loud. And she wanted to be one! What did she think he was going to do then, just not feed?

The warm water ran over his body, washing any left over blood from his body. He hadn’t chosen any girls with glitter, mostly because he thought they were more on the trashy side, but also because he didn’t like having glitter all over him. And it wasn’t very appetizing to be drinking some blood and then realize about half of that had gone down with some sparkly body spray. He wasn’t trying to erase the evidence or anything, since he knew rumors would be flying all over the mansion by now anyway as far as the slaves and servants went, but he did like to be clean after feeding. Besides, Harmony was the only human in the mansion that he cared about; well, she was the only human ever that he cared about really. He turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, drying himself off with a towel and running a comb through his hair quickly. It wasn’t all that long and really he probably didn’t even need to run the comb through it, but he felt better afterward. The mix of a well fed vampire and hot water had left him with an almost human-like glow. He dressed quickly in a pair of jeans and a grey t-shirt that looked as if it were made just for him the way it fit.

He should probably get this shit over with. The sooner he confronted Harmony, the sooner it would be over. And really, what could she do to him other than make him feel guilty? Guilt was a stupid, useless emotion. One he wished he hadn’t started having. Devon made his way to the room he shared with the blood slave, again not giving her full ownership of it in his mind as it was because of him that she had it and because he slept there most days as well. About half his stuff if not more was over in that room anyway. But when he got there and opened the door there was no one in there. He practically slammed it on his way out. She would have the nerve to go around the mansion, probably by herself, at night. With Tristan roaming around who knows what could have happened… He checked the kitchen and the living room and was about to head to Tristan’s room just to see if he’d taken her when one of the servants said something about seeing Harmony head to the moon garden. Devon rolled his eyes and made his way in that direction, glad that he wouldn’t have to deal with Tristan right now unless he ran into the man on the way out there.

And there she was. “I thought we discussed this roaming about at night thing.” He stood with his arms crossed not far at all from her.

[Harmony Ferguson]

Blue eyes gazed intently up at the moon as her fingers played over the white gold key necklace that hung from her neck. Why was it so hard for someone to change their ways? Harmony tried to be understanding. Especially when she considered the way Devon fed. It was either he have sex with them or he killed them. Both were options Harmony didn't want for the person he fed from. She was a woman after all. Women got jealous when it came to their man. It was upsetting enough that she had to share Devon with Eden, whether he wanted to or not, but for him to go out and feed from another person... It made Harmony think she wasn't enough for him. She tried so hard to be understanding of the situation, but she couldn't help herself.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard his voice. She had been so deeply in thought she hadn't been paying attention. No doubt he would have something to say about that. as well. She glanced over her shoulder to him for a moment before she turned her attentions back up to the moon. "Did we? I don't recall." She stated it calmly, doing her best to keep her tone neutral. "Either way I don't see why I should be confined to my bedroom while you're out, enjoying yourself at some trashy blood bar sucking and fucking some whore." That statement came out a little more harsh than she hoped, but she couldn't help it. She was upset and hurt. " Did you sleep with her tonight, or did you kill her?"

Harmony knew she hurt him sometimes, but it was never intentionally. And when he hurt her, she felt like a lot of times, it was intentional. To keep her in line. To protect her. That was always his excuse. But those excuses never helped to ease the sting of hurt. If anything they just made her hurt more. It made her feel like she was nothing more than a meal and a good lay for him. And even more so when he went to do exactly that with other women.

[Devon Soulstrick]

For a minute, Devon thought about turning around and just going back to the room he shared with Eden. But the thought of staying with Eden again made him want to cringe and he really wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if she was out here alone and someone decided to teach her some sort of lesson. Devon was the only person he wanted teaching Harmony lessons. Any lessons. She belonged to him. That was how he saw it and that wouldn’t change ever. Not even if she was a vampire. She was his until he let her go. That was just how it was with Devon. So when she started talking to him like she was his equal, the idea of spending the night with Eden really wasn’t so bad. But he kept reminding himself that if Devon wasn’t around, Tristan might try something. The idea that Tristan would do something to his blood slave just irked the vampire.

He let out a frustrated sigh at Harmony’s words. Of course she was expected to do things like stay in her room when he was not there, even if he was out with someone else. It came back to the fact that she was his, not the other way around. It wasn’t acceptable for her to even ask where he had been, let alone was why she needed to stay in her room when he went out. And she definitely shouldn’t ask if he’d slept or killed the woman. Which would be better anyway? He knew she wasn’t fond of either way he fed, but what did she want him to do? Take her with him so he could screw her while feeding from someone else? “Yes, we did discuss this. Because we have a master vampire who likes to put you in his bed. Or have you forgotten that already? Maybe it wasn’t as scarring as I was led to believe.” Devon wasn’t being nice and he knew it. It wasn’t that he wanted to make her feel bad, it was more that he didn’t want her to make him feel bad. He hated feeling guilty for doing what he was born to do. That and he really wanted her to realize what she was getting herself into with this whole wanting to be a vampire thing.

“You should be confined to the room because I said so. I could do a lot worse than locking you in a room, Harmony.” Which was true. In the beginning he had debated on getting an actual slave cage and locking her up in that just so she wouldn’t be able to run. At the time he had decided against the idea, reasoning that he could probably use a cell in the dungeon if he needed to keep her in one place too long, or just literally lock her in the room from the outside. He hadn’t done that in a while. Devon hadn’t thought he needed to do that. But if she was going to run about knowing there was a vampire master who would just love to put her in her place, then he might have to reconsider.

Devon held his eyes on her, refusing to look away. “Does it matter if I had sex with her or killed her? You don’t like either, though you’re going to have to get used to it.”

[Harmony Ferguson]

She tensed, watching him intently for a few minutes as he proceeded to point out that they did discuss it and the why of what they discussed. "Not that you would care if it was scarring to me or not..." She muttered under her breath. She cleared her throat and looked him up and down for a minute as her finger released the key charm that hung around her neck. "I am not stupid... Since your return I have avoided him at all cost. I take long ways through the mansion to avoid him. I quickly sneak out of a room when he enters one. I do everything I can to avoid him. " She said calmly, blue eyes meeting his gaze. Ever since his return he never let her forget what she allowed Tristan to do to her. Not that she had much choice. Of all the people who she had to snag the attention of, why did it have to be Tristan Holt? The one person who had all the power and could do whatever he wanted with Harmony without any sort of consequence. Devon had no idea how much it hurt for him to throw that in her face. It just made her feel more ashamed of the fact that she hadn't fought back. She just let him do whatever he wanted with her. If he had decided he wanted her sexually, she probably would have given herself to him just out of a shear fear of what he would have done if he said no.

Now that Devon had returned, she did everything she could to keep from gaining Tristan's attentions. She could not stay locked away in that bedroom though. She had nothing to do in there. There were a few books yes, but she read them about a thousand times whenever Devon went on his trips. She studied him for a moment, blue eyes gazing intensely at him. "I hope you've thanked, Julian... if it weren't for him... I would have spent every single night for the last month in that man's bed... miserable because you weren't here to stop it..." She wanted to see how he would feel about her throwing things in his face. She never intentionally hurt him, but tonight she was all sorts of upset with him. She wanted him to feel the sting of hurt that he so often made her feel.

Why couldn't he understand? She tried so hard to be understanding of him, but he never tried to be understanding of her. It was was so frustrating. She just wished for once he would take the time to understand where she was coming from when she tried to do the same thing for him. "You've made that perfectly clear plenty of times.... " She looked away to a moon flower vine that wound its way over a trellis. Unfortunately, the truth of that statement was so strong it hurt Harmony just to think about it. It was true. He made it perfectly clear what all he could do. How much worse it could be than locking her up in her bedroom. He had proven it to her enough times. "Why do you only say my name when you're mad with me?" She asked the question as if it were a simple enough conversational question.

Her finger softly stroked over the fleshy petal of a moon flower before she carefully pinched the base of it and plucked it from the vine, dipping her nose into the bloom to take a sniff before she lightly tucked it behind her ear. Harmony was pretty sure she never heard him say her name when he was happy with her. The only time she ever remembered hearing her name on his lips was when he was mad with her.

"Of course it matters, Devon! How do you think it makes me feel when you go out to find someone else to feed on instead of me? I wouldn't think anything of it if I didn't know how you feed, but I do, and so it's constantly on my mind when you feed from someone else."She was taking a much more harsh tone than she originally planned, but she couldn't control herself. She was mad with him. So mad. Sometimes she just wanted to bash his head in with a blunt object. That's how infuriatingly frustrating he was. She closed her eyes and took a deep, soothing breath before they opened once more and she looked to him. " I try to be understanding, but you make it so damn hard sometimes, Devon." She murmured weakly blue eyes softening a little.

She did try. She tried so hard to understand. She was still human though. There were some things she would not understand until she experienced the things he experienced as a vampire. She would have to learn and understand his ways. She would have to soon enough if he was serious about changing her. She was learning. It was taking some serious work, but she was. Things would not be the same for her if he really did change her. She would have to learn to adapt like other bitten vampires had.

[Devon Soulstrick]

His eyes narrowed at her muttered comment about whether he’d care if she was scarred from what Tristan had done. Of course he cared; he wouldn’t have been so upset about the whole thing if he hadn’t cared what it did to her. If he didn’t care how it affected Harmony, he wouldn’t try so hard to keep her away from Tristan. He couldn’t believe Harmony would say something like that. It angered him more than it hurt him, though he had to admit it stung a bit to think that maybe she didn’t know him as well as he thought she did. Her lack of concern for her own safety worried him. How was he supposed to keep someone safe if they didn’t want to be kept safe? “You do realize that he could catch up to you in less than a second if he wanted to, even if you do leave a room he comes into? And that Tristan can probably find you even taking the longer ways. If he find you alone again who knows what will happen…” His voice wasn’t loud, but it wasn’t exactly nice either. He wouldn’t have called her stupid, but he also didn’t understand why she wasn’t concerned about her own safety. Or at least, not concerned enough.

Julian was someone Devon could actually get along with… most of the time. Though he didn’t exactly approve of him insisting that his human was free and he wasn’t sure what he saw in the woman at all, even if she had been a vampire, Devon wasn’t about to throw away the hybrid’s friendship. And even if he didn’t really like Julian’s woman, he would have done what he could to protect her in Julian’s absence, if for no other reason than he wanted to stay friends with the guy. He ignored what Harmony said about thanking Julian and focused more on the fact that she seemed to be blaming him for going away. “Do not try blaming me for leaving.” His words were slow and menacing, speaking them as if each word were a separate sentence. He already felt guilty for what Tristan had done to Harmony while he’d been gone. But did she honestly expect him to stay around all the time? He had things he needed to do, things he was practically forced to do. “I didn’t have much of a choice in going away, now, did I? Because there’s this whole thing with the council, I’m sure you remember there are certain things they expect of me that can’t be gotten around at the moment. Like producing an heir in case I die.” Though he wasn’t really ready for a child, he did see the importance in having one. That was how he got on council after all. The death of his parents was something he didn’t like to think about, but it was clear to him that this heir thing was not something he was going to be able to get around. And he did want his family to continue being on council.

Devon didn’t really know what else he could do. He constantly felt like his blood slave expected more from him than he could give her. She wanted him to be devoted to her and he was as much as he could be. He had a wife but he didn’t care about Eden the way he cared about Harmony. He’d told her that several times and what she focused on was the fact that he wouldn’t turn her or say that he loved her. It was her question that threw him off. He hadn’t noticed that he only said her name when he was angry or upset with her. “I don’t know.” Well, at least he was honest. He didn’t want to get into what he called her and why at the moment. To him, it didn’t seem that important.

“I don’t know what to tell you. I’m not going to change the way I feed…” He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. His voice wasn’t harsh anymore, but he was still upset and very frustrated. Explaining why he needed to feed from other people at times was sort of difficult. It was easier, at least he thought she understood better, when it was because he was on a trip or something and he just couldn’t take Harmony. He needed to feed after all. But when she was right here, how to explain that he just needed to go out for a while… he didn’t think she’d really understand that.

[Harmony Ferguson]

"You can't keep me locked up in my room all the time, damn it! You can't do that, Devon... I'm not some dumb bird asking for a cracker that you can cage up and stow away whenever it pleases you. I'm a human being. I have needs just as much as you do. Needs that require I get out of my bedroom..." Devon didn't realize how miserable she was when he made her stay in her bedroom. Since becoming a slave, she had developed a bit of claustrophobia. It was from all those times he locked her away in the dungeons as punishment. He always managed to find the darkest cell with absolutely no source of light. Harmony never knew how long she spent in that cell either. Days could have gone by and she never would have known it.

Devon failed to realize how miserable and confining even her bedroom could feel. Especially if he was gone for a long amount of time, like he had been tonight. After a few hours she got antsy if she was in that room alone. " You know how much I hate being confined to one space for so long... It's as if you're punishing me for something I had no control over. " She murmurs weakly, looking away from him as she rubbed her forehead softly. "I know how easily Tristan can hurt me, Devon. You remind me of it every day... every hour now. But I can't stay locked up in that room all night when you're not home. It's lonely and miserable and I hate it." She met his gaze, holding it for a long time. She hated it so much. She could handle it when he was only gone for an hour or two, but when he took those trips out all night long... She couldn't handle it. She had to get out of the room and do something than sit and piddle around in her bedroom.

Her gaze fell on the moon once more when he pretty much accused her of blaming him for the "vacation" he took with Eden. How could he think that of her? She knew he didn't have muchoice in the matter. " I never said I blamed you, Devon. " She whispered softly, keeping her gaze glued to the moon. She never blamed him for leaving. He didn't have a choice. There was no telling what the council might have done if he hadn't gone with Eden. She hated that he had to sleep with her sometimes, but it was all to produce an heir. To ensure that if something should ever happen to Devon, he would have a successor. Harmony wished sometimes that she could give Devon that sucessor. She wanted so badly what Eden had just as much as she wanted Devon's love. She wanted to be his wife. To give him children (when he was ready). She didn't even care if she gave him an heir. That didn't matter to Harmony.

She closed her eyes when he answered her with an "I don't know." He didn't go any further into detail about that, but it made Harmony curious. Why would he say her name only when he was mad with her? He hardly ever said her name when he was happy with her, but he always called her by name with he was mad. She wondered what that revealed about the two of them. As to his not changing how he feeds... She had nothing to say. She did't mind it when he fed from other people. Or at least she wouldn't if it didn't require he screw them or kill them. Why couldn't he just feed like any normal vampire could? Why did he always have to involve sex or death in his feedings.And what would she do when he changed her and got another blood slave? Would he spend more time with him or her, sexing them up to feed, or not?

Harmony was suddenly starting to understand why Eden despised her so much.

[Devon Soulstrick]

Devon glared at his blood slave. Some nights it would be easier if he didn’t care for her at all. Then maybe he could just hand her over to Tristan and be done with it. Instead, he wanted to protect her even though she infuriated him a lot of the time. He got close to her, towering over her like the almost literal giant he was. “You are mine and I can do with you whatever I damn well please. Do not make the mistake of thinking that I won’t if that’s what it takes. If I have to get a lock placed on the outside of the door that’s what I’ll do.” He really didn’t understand why she made him get all possessive like that. She should know he only did these things because he cared about her, because he wanted to protect her.

“Then stop acting like you blame me for it. I’ve had about enough with this whole Julian thing and how he protected you and all that. And how it wouldn’t have happened if I was here. You don’t think I know that? You don’t think I feel guilty about that?” Maybe he was putting his feelings, whatever feelings they were, maybe he was just having them for the wrong person. Why was she so difficult? First it sounds like she blames him and now she’s not blaming him? She needed to make up her mind. She also needed to understand that he was just trying to keep her safe. Wasn’t that what she wanted from him? To keep her safe?

He really didn’t know what else needed to be said. Apparently she was mad at him for what he was and he wasn’t going to be changing what he was any time soon. For one, he couldn’t exactly change into a human. He wouldn’t want to. He was higher up on the social ladder than a human would ever be so there was no real debating that issue. He wasn’t going to change the way he fed. Devon liked blood and sex. He also liked blood and being a bit violent. It was just how he was. And for several vampires sex just went with feedings. It wasn’t just him. It wasn’t like he could just walk into the blood bar, Harmony in hand, do her and drink from someone else.

And then there was the reminding her part. Reminding Harmony that Devon could do much worse than what he had been doing to her. He was allowed to do whatever he wanted to Harmony. She was his blood slave. And here she was complaining about something like being stuck in a room for her own protection. Sometimes, he just didn’t understand her at all. Was she really mad that he wanted to keep her safe, or was she just coming up with things that made her angry because she was mad he went out?

[Harmony Ferguson]

Normally she would have stood her ground when he did something like this. Getting all up in her face like he was. She would have looked right up at him and gotten up close, but his words hit her pretty hard. So instead she sat back down on the bench looking at their feet as he continued on. He may have felt like the constantly made him feel guilty, but he was pretty good at laying on the guilt himself.

She had suddenly lost her will to fight tonight. She hated fighting. And she was always the one who started it. If she could just keep her mouth shut. She hated starting fights. Because he always managed to make her feel guilty about it. Now, not only did she feel guilty about starting the fight, but she felt guilty about making him feel guilty. She reached a hand up to her head, rubbing her forehead as a headache started to form right between her eyes. She took a minute to steady herself before she slowly stood up and lifted her face up to his.

"I'm sorry." She murmured softly, speaking sincerely. She knew he was doing all this to protect her. And a part of her appreciated it, but the other part of her didn't appreciate being locked away from the world in her bedroom while he was out having a good time. She wouldn't mind going out and having a good time for once. After this she doubted that he would even take her to the ballet. Instead of being grateful for it, she threw it all in his face how miserable she was. She was starting to think that maybe it would be best for her to be agreeable and quiet from now on.

Blue eyes fell to his chest after a minute, crossing her arms and tucking her hands into the crooks her elbow. And now the awkward silence. She hated the awkward silences. She opened her mouth to say something. She wanted to say something sweet, but she didn't think "I love you" would exactly help the situation. "Is there anything you need before I go back to my room?" That's what she said instead. If he wanted to spend the night with her or not was his choice. She wasn't going to force it on him or beg and plead him to stay with her for the night. Instead she was going to be a good slave and ask him if he needed anything before she turned in for the rest of the night.

[Devon Soulstrick]

This was why Devon liked to keep his distance with humans. They were confusing. Most humans were just there for his benefit. He felt something different for Harmony, though. He wanted her to be happy; he just didn’t know how to do that. And he wasn’t going to change who he was to make her happy either. He kept telling himself that it was his right to do whatever it was he wanted. He was a vampire. She was his blood slave. And if she wanted to be a vampire she would have to get used to the idea of him feeding from someone else. He wasn’t going to feed from bags of blood in the freezer for the rest of his existence. He had to admit, he was a little worried about how he would feel when she fed from someone. Maybe he would demand that she have a female blood slave. He didn’t think she was into that sort of thing. He thought she had this idea in her head that once she was changed he was going to relax and let her do whatever she wanted, but that was far from the case. If anything, he would feel like he needed to keep more of an eye on her. Maybe not protect her as much, but he wasn’t going to just turn her loose.

Her apology caught him off guard. She sounded sincere enough. It made him feel a little bad for getting so worked up. Not bad enough that he would have changed it. Still, he didn’t like to see her sad at all. He watched as she stood up. Devon felt like wrapping his arms around her and just wishing she’d forget the entire thing. At the same time, he wanted her to remember that he wasn’t going to stop feeding from other people just because he had her. Though he really did enjoy her blood and how he felt when he fed from her.

She asked if he needed anything. Devon had to think about it for a moment. Did he need anything? Well, he certainly wanted something now that he had fed and his anger from their confrontation was dying down. It should have assured her, he thought, that he was coming back to their room most nights, the nights he didn’t feel required to stay with Eden, even if he was feeding from someone else. And he hadn’t been to a blood bar in so long. Certainly she could understand his desire to go? Then why didn’t he feel like this was really over? It might have been over for tonight, but he knew sooner or later it would probably be brought back up. It could be brought up so easily. Harmony’s mind always seemed to be fixed on turning into a vampire and inevitably, blood bars would come up during those conversations.

Devon put a hand on her waist and kissed the top of her head. “I believe I’m ready to retire to our room for the evening.” It wasn’t like they didn’t have time, but he also wanted her to know that he wanted to spend time with her as well. Even if he never said that he loved her, if he couldn’t understand love, he still enjoyed his time with her. He took her hand and led her to the room they shared, thinking she might feel like it was a bit degrading at the moment if he carried her out after their argument.