Tears aren't just for the weak. ~ Logan~

[Kacey Taylor]

Kacey was grateful to be in her room at this very moment. She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream out at the world. It wasn't every single day, in the life of the vampire woman, that was all diamonds and sunshine. Today for example. She just couldn't let the past weeks conversations she's had out of her head.

As she walked towards the window and looked out across the spanse that her window allowed her to see in the darkness, she thought on eveything. Tristan seemed to only care about one thing when it came to her. Julian and producing a child with him. The man hated her! How ever in hell could she achieve this miracle? It was driving her insane and like many other nights that she thought she was alone, it would plague her thoughts.

It wasn't just Julian or Tristan that had been on her mind though. It was Logan. A day or two had passed since she had seen him. He never made it known about their connection. She felt as if she was something to be hidden and not shown off. She was pretty. Granted she might be a snot or evil at times, it was only him that truly knew her. Why couldn't things with them be different? Why couldn't it be Logan that Tristan was pushing her towards? She just didn't understand it.

A sigh escaped her lips as she turned and headed back to her bed. She had just bought black satiny sheets and comforter for it. She quietly laid on top of her bed and grabbed a pillow. It was tucked under her chin as she just aimlessly stared at the headboard. She was wishing she could see Logan right then. He would cheer her up by just his presence. She could be herself around him. She didn't fear him seeing flaws or negatives. He already seen both sides of her.

TAG(S);
LYRICS; Not Strong Enough (feat. Brent Smith) by Apocalyptica
WORDS;
OUTFIT;
NOTES;
CREDITS; lisathecat of CAUTION 2.0!

[Logan Holt]

It was some time that he could hardly wish to admit that he still lay awake, after all what sane vampire would lay awake with the bane of his existence just outside the protected walls of their ancient home. No he should have been asleep and yet his mind wondered and he could not yet lay his head to rest. His mind wondered as he remembered times long thought forgotten. He remembered her presence the feel of his mate within the covers of their bed. Yet she was long dead, turned to ashes and yet he always felt weakest in these late hours. A desire to feel that spark that she had kept in him the need to be alive and near to her. No other had made him feel as alive as she had.

So he lay wishing that she was yet still there by his side, his mind knowing that it was bad to dwell on those memories and yet on the other side of things he refused to take part in crushing them away when he was alone in his own halls. His slaves sleeping in the servants quarters waiting for the rising moon to send them returning to their master. Giving up he moved from the beds lonely warmth to sit upon his chair. His eyes haunted by memories wondering if he could have done something to prevent the death she had been dealt and yet he knew that their was nothing he could do. For a moment his eyes lingered upon the sword its edge sharp and still glinting with the eerie light only pure silver could show. It was often that he would sit shrouded as he was and stare at the blade and each elegant line of it. Pondering pulling it from its peg and letting it slide home in his chest to let him have peace to let him see his mate.

Fear held sway though, oh sure his mate had believed that their was an afterlife that even as a vampire her soul would move on. His soul... if he had one was not so clean as to believe that he would end in the same place as she would. He no longer followed the path that she had placed him before. In the end he hung his head and opened a drawer in his desk. Within was a concoction brewed by Vampires, it was not so deadly to a vampire as it was capable of letting them not care. A drink that cold leave a vampire as drunk as any humans liquor could break their own kinds mind. For the beginning he let it wash down his throat using a crystal goblet sitting upon his desk.

As the blood wine took effect as the various aspects of it began to lessen his mind new ideas trickled into his head. It was often like this, his state of depression making him miss the contact of another being. It was a weakness and yet not one that he ever let another know of. Drinking from the dark bottle he stumbled towards his bookcase. It was amusing to think that what was behind it was behind his own wall and not his brothers. That the passage that he crossed through should be linked to his brothers from his destination after all father wanted her to be with the dog. In all honestly though Logan simply didn't care. This woman, had over her few years proved useful to his plans and needs. Oh she was not good enough to be taken as his permanent mate. But he knew her better than most and enjoyed the physical stimulation she was so willing to offer. His trysts with her were secret, even as they were with most of his other mistresses these days.

It took only minutes for him to arrive, to crack open the hidden door between their rooms. He stumbled in not really caring that he looked disheveled from the fall of his hair. That his clothing had been left, save for his shorts, back in his own room as he looked upon the youngster before him, though in all honesty she was hardly a child, she was just younger than he himself was... much younger in fact. It was an odd thing to walk into her room, his vision letting him cut through the darkness that existed his mind in some corner wondering how much time he had lost sitting in his room sulking over the silver sword and pondering using its blade to end his existence. Or how drunk on the wine he was to not have noticed the slip of time so as to realize that it was once again the time of the vampires. The night calling to him as much as the drunken need of companionship.

From their his bloodshot eyes moved from his hidden entry as it slid shut hiding seamlessly as it did, He saw her laying back on her bed not yet having noticed his arrival. His eyes noted her pale flesh where her hands held an overstuffed pillow across her body somehow managing to hide whatever bed clothing it was that graced her form at the moment. The dark bedding served as a contrast as his own sight worked its way over her body. Their was, he had to admit a certain appeal about her the way her skin seemed to glisten and the pale color of it. The shape of her being so appealing so as to almost remind him of his mate. He knew it was her eyes though that was the most attractive part of her. The way she seemed to try to see what he held so closely hidden. The Ice of his heart was hardly strong and had a few cracks from place to place and yet he had yet to desire anyone for anything more than a moment of physical ecstasy. Why was it though that he so often wished for her presence why was it that so often when he mourned the loss of his mate that he fell into this trap the one that called him to this turned things bed. To admit his desire and infatuation would be to open himself to more pain... no she was just a tool for him to manipulate to further his own goals. It was why he acted as if he cared, acted as if he enjoyed her presence acted as if he wanted something more than just a momentary union of flesh... In the end he used her as much as she wished to use himself... A tool... though a useful and lonely tool that he often had use for even if it was only for a quiet moment in the sanctity of the woman’s bed...

[Kacey Taylor]

Kacey knew who it was that had come into her room long before she bothered to look. There was only one person that really came to her private chambers at such an hour. That was Logan. She listened to the sound of the mans footsteps. These were footsteps she knew so well that she could gauge where he was in her room. It wasn't til he was well into her room did she begin to stir from her mopey state and lay that she was in on her bed.

Pushing the pillow out from underneath her head and lifting her head up, she felt the blonde strands fall down across her face. Her eyes went towards Logan. Immediately she knew he had been drinking. Such thing to notice with him wasn't really hard to see. He looked like he was in a messed up state of mind. Body for that matter as well.

Truth was, as far as Kacey was concerned, this was how she found herself with Logan on many occasions. If she could have had some say so in the matter of how he came to her, she would of definitely said something. She kept quiet as she pushed up off her bed. Small feet touching the floor in the most graceful of walks towards him.

When she came to stand in front of him, she reached up with her right hand to brush along his cheek. For the time being, she didn't feel that there was a need to speak her hello to him. Instead she would do so by her mere presence. As the hand lowered, she let her nails rake down his chest til they came to the bottom of his shirt. She gave his shirt a gentle tug.

I hope you will stay til the morning Logan. She drew her hand back down to her side and turned from him to head over to the small bar area she had in her room. She knew what he drank. How could she know know by heart? How many nights had he come to her or she to him? They drank so many of those times away probably too.

At the bar, she fixed them both a drink and returned to her position in front of Logan. Her hand came up to offer his tumbler out to him. Join me in a toast. Seems we both could use something to ease our minds.

TAG(S);
LYRICS; Not Strong Enough (feat. Brent Smith) by Apocalyptica
WORDS;
OUTFIT;
NOTES;
CREDITS; lisathecat of CAUTION 2.0!

[Logan Holt]

The oddity of it all Logan stumbling into the room of the woman that his father wanted mated to his mutt of a brother. Oh sure this woman this vampiress was not much better than any of the other turned but if he was to judge her by his mothers standards. He knew in many ways she was the model of what his mother would want at his side. Perhaps that was why he stumbled through the hidden passage into her quarters. Perhaps it was a lingering doubt to all he acted on in public. He could hardly determine through the haze of drunkeness that made his mind stumble through thoughts much as a mule would be halted a mire of quicksand suddenly before its feet. It was an odd feeling to look upon this Vampire this creature not born to this life, this being that had embraced the night as it was. He glanced to the window knowing that moments before the sun was to rise and touch this room the shutters would close over the window trapping them in the building and hiding them from the burning touch of its hand.

Yet that moment that he glanced from her form, or rather the portions that he had been able to view was also the moment that she stood and began to move. The sound of her feet delicate and slender upon the cold stone floor drew his eyes from the shuttering window and too the moving form of Kacey. He immediately reminded himself that his desires for her were simply to use her that he did not in fact enjoy her presence that he hated the smell that covered him in the mornings after he found himself waking hungover and wrapped up in her embrace. He noted the Shift the Navy Blue silk falling loosely across her form and yet managing to only just cover the parts of his body that he knew his father didn't want him near.

That alone was enough to make him want to tear the shift off and ravage her. Yet another way to spit in his fathers face another way to make his father realize that he was week and that with each day he lost more. No Kacey was in many ways Logan's Trophy, his toy to hang in front of people a person that so loved the light of a spotlight that it let him sneak up behind to slip a knife through their proverbial throat. Yet he also knew the way she walked and moved had felt the movement of her slender muscles against his own form time enough to want to stumble to her and force himself on her and yet he stood their in a drunken trance as she crossed the space in her own time. Letting him watch the shift and sway of the lace along the edges of the material.

It took her but moments or a fraction of it time had little meaning to Logan as he grew older with no trace of the lines of age on his face only the haunted look in his eyes and the way he could read and understand things made him seem older than he looked. Yet even his father who was centuries his senior could hardly be called old in appearance. He could feel her fingers running down his bare chest along the lines of his toned muscle. It was an odd feeling something that he enjoyed and hated all at the same time it was her finger hooked within the band of his boxers that annoyed him though, he wondered if perhaps she was teasing him or egging him on in some way.

“I hope you will stay til the morning Logan.”

“It seems that you have a proposition that may hold my attention... whether you can hold it till morning that is a question that only time will tell...”

It always seemed to run the same even if he was drunk beyond sanity or even sober as a priest it was often like this her wanting him will morning and yet him only staying so long as it suited him. It all depended upon how well she entertained him... Mind body and immoral soul. He could not deny that he disliked her affection and yet he was not willing to admit to any let alone Kacey herself that he enjoyed the feeling of her against his form. No it would give her power over him and as such he would never admit that he desired her. No to maintain his hold he had to maintain a form of detachment with her.

It was not long for him to feel the snap of his Undergarments against his skin as her fingers returned to herself. Part of him pondered not letting her grab drinks. Of grabbing her and throwing her across the room to the bed. Yet the part of him that was loosing the edge of the drink that was slowly meandering towards sobriety told him he needed to be sober and that it was best to leave before something foolish was to happen.

“Join me in a toast. Seems we both could use something to ease our minds.”

It was but a grunt that left his lips as he took the offer of the drink. He also didn't offer it in toast as he simple dumped the contents down his throat and felt the burn of the spiced Blood Wine ripple down his throat and into his stomach. It was not a night of Toasts but a night to forget the life he once had to push it out of his mind once more. His feelings and thoughts were running rampant as he eventually stumbled to the bed and sat. His eyes staring once more in thought as he wondered what was to come and how he would ever be able to force his father into giving up the rule to his son.

“Kacey... why is it that you tolerate me...”

He slurred between his teeth a question that in his normal state of mind he would have never asked. He glanced aside his eyes taking in her bright nearly Emerald Green eyes as he awaited an answer all the while his mind undressed her and imagined the feel of her against him even as he cringed at the way he disrespected his mates memory...